I Ching on Giving and Receiving 易经曰: 捨得

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Forgive and Forgiving

If Others Have Done Me Wrong, Whether With Malice, Or Lack Of Tact, I Sincerely Forgive Them, And Let Go Of All My Grudge.

I Forgive Remembering How Often I Too Have Been At Fault.

I Forgive, Knowing That To Hold Ill Will Is To Cause Myself Greater Harm

Than Others Can Do To Me.

I Forgive Knowing That Desire For Revenge Only Brings The Heart Turmoil And Agitation.

If I Have Done Wrong To Others, Whether Through Malice Or Lack Of Tact, I Acknowledge My Transgressions And Ask To Be Forgiven.

I Ask To Be Forgiven Knowing How Little I Have To Complain About When Others Do Me Wrong.

I Ask To Be Forgiven Hoping My Bad Example Will Not Lead Others Into Wrong.

I Ask To Be Forgiven Feeling Truly Sorry And Promising To Make Amends.

I Ask To Be Forgiven Resolving To Practice Restrain In The Future.

“Forgive others, Not Because They Deserve Forgiveness But Because You Deserve Peace.” a whatsapp posting by a good friend of mine Vijayan Menon on 25/5/2017

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Sucess Eight Powers 直销行业的八大魅力

魅力之一:超越梦想

从小到大,每个人心中的梦想都不止一个:或者成为科学家、艺术家;或者拥有高楼大厦,环游世界;又或者广交朋友、救济天下……如此等等,不一而足。遗憾的是现实不是梦境,太多人在残酷的现实面前败下阵来。我们不仅不能实现梦想,反而要遭受更多的磨难:或下岗、或失业、或英雄无用武之地。面对逼迫,我们毫不例外的缩小甚至泯灭梦想,不敢改变、不愿改变,甚至不能改变。而直销不同,这个行业足以重新唤醒人们的梦想,让每个人开始再次思考人生的意义,把深藏在心灵角落里的愿望又一次激活。


直销告诉我们,可以交更多朋友,可以成为销售高手,可以遍观天下,可以健康长寿。虽然并非所有人都能最终达成目标,但是大家的心灵的确活跃起来了。通过各种成功学、营销学、心理学、说服学、沟通学的教育培训,每一个人都开始重新认识人生的意义和价值。从这个层面上说,直销让每个人超越过去,创造并不断去实现未来,死水一潭的心开始重泛涟漪,这是伟大的觉醒,勇于拼搏的精神构成了超越梦想的价值。

魅力之二:明确目标


据调查,只有那些有明确人生目标的人可以取得顶尖的成就,这种人只占人类总数的5%,大部分人对自己的未来是没有明确规划的。也就是说,很多人的人生目标是不明确的,有些人甚至根本没有人生目标,自然也不可能有多大成就。直销凭借完备的升级制度,为每个从业者制定了明确的努力方向,在很长一段时间内,你只要按部就班,就可以达到一个较高的级别,成就自己。

魅力之三:永续学习


这个世纪是一个倡导终身学习的世纪。直销企业由于其不断的培训和学习而让所有从业人员都能在短时间内学习到大量新鲜的知识,无论是产品、制度、营销模式,还是人际沟通、营养、美容,各种知识不断被灌输、交流、分享。加之大量的书籍、音像资料的传播、各种培训课程的举办,让那些缺少学习的人为了业绩的提升而全情投入,知识日益丰富的同时,人的素质和品位也再不断提高。

大部分的直销企业都有系统的教育培训计划,这种永续学习的模式正好符合新世纪与时俱进的特点。知识改变命运,学习丰富人生。在这个倡导建立学习型组织的时代,直销企业刚好成为一个典型的代表。直销企业的讲师在教育业务员时最知名的格言就是”知识是唯一的善,无知是唯一的恶”,把学习上升到道德的层次,这应该是最具有时代特征的魅力之一。

魅力之四:良师益友


在直销公司的培训课上,我们经常听到这样一句话:”人生最大的悲剧是:有良师不学,有良友不交,有良机不握”。意思很浅显,涵义却深刻,它告诉我们要成功就要在良师益友的帮助下把握住每一个绝好的机会。

这确乎是人生成功的定理。每一家直销公司都一定会配备综合素质非常高的讲师,不断给团队传递最具革命性的营销理念和广泛的知识,团队成员间分享机会。这种朋友式的团队由于利益共同体的缘故构成了一道独特的风景线。这群人的执着、诚实、敬业时时感动着每一个新人,这个良师益友众多的群体产生出了特殊的吸引力。

魅力之五:自由自主


直销是一个真正自由自主的行业,每个人都既是整体团队的一个环节,又是一个独立的创业个体。个人的目标是自己确定的,要做到哪一级别、获得多少收入全由自己定夺,这让每个人的心灵都在一个相对宽松的状态下发挥得更加出色!

直销人很自由,但并非散漫。事实上,这些人一旦进入团队,立刻体现出高度的自律。在自由自主的精神原则下,团队中的大部分成员都能按时到职,讲究时间观念。这种自由自在,又有条不紊的生活成为直销吸引人的魅力之一。

魅力之六:公平公正


直销企业挑选人才几乎没有多少条件限制,诸如学历、相貌、社会关系、社会地位、年龄、经验等等传统企业的考核指标在直销企业中几乎全被淡化了。只要你有兴趣尝试,谁都可以,无论男女,高矮,俊丑,也无论你是健康还是残疾。反正直销公司的展业对象也分为不同层次:要么你做一个顾客,要么你成为一个经营者。所有有自信和闯劲的人都能亲身一试。

直销的包容能力特别强,所谓”没有女人做不好,没有男人做不大,没有孩子做不快”。不仅如此,在具体的业务操作上,只要是正规的公司,其制度几乎都有可超越的特点,不分男女老少,也不分先来后到,全按照多劳多得的分配理念,可以获得相应的报酬。这在很大程度上满足了大众阶层渴望平等的愿望,让很多普通的从业者获得了应有的尊严,因而也更加卖力,从而获得较好的业绩。

魅力之七:团队合作


这是一个合作的年代,没有一个人可以仅靠自己就成就伟业。销售百万的《学会做自己的奶酪》一书曾有一句发人深省的话:“世界上没有完美的个人,只有完美的团队。”在这方面,直销企业最典型地表现了团队的魅力。

传统行业中,我们看惯了你死我活的竞争,而每一个成功的直销人都是拥有巨大团队的领导人。团队成员互补互助,各自展示优势,创造出惊人的业绩。团队创造了一种氛围,创造了一个抱团打天下的多赢模式,同时又让每个人的价值在其中得以展示。这就是直销人成功的核心原因。难怪业内流传说:一流的人用团队之力,二流的人用个人之力,三流的人被人用,四流的人无人用。团队合作,成就每个人。这,构成了直销的一个最大的魅力。

魅力之八:建立系统


生意一词指的就是”生生不息的创意”。直销就是在传统挑水式生意基础上的一次创业革命。让每个从业者建立一个大小不等的行销系统和消费系统,而这个系统就是直销人员收入的来源。当一个直销员通过几年的辛勤努力建立起一个庞大的系统之后,他的财富管道就算是修成了。

他可以越来越轻松地享受系统带来的财富。如同互联网、电信网、电力网、自来水管网、有线电视网的拥有者一样,在架设管道的时候,收益也许是微薄的,但是,网络系统一旦建成,就可以随时随地获得回报。这就是直销网的价值。只要是正规的,以产品行销为利益来源的直销企业最终都是在展示系统的魅力。系统就是未来,系统就是财富,系统就是保障,有了系统就拥有一切。这几乎成了直销人员和企业的行话。

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Our Life is in Our hands

An adult once asked a old wise man, “Oh, old wise man, is the bird in my hand alive or death?”

“Its life, alive or death, is in your hand, son. Let it goes, it is alive, squeeze it, it will be death. ”

Yes, one’s life is in our hands; knowing how to treasure it, despite whatever miseries, one life will be great; destruct it with vices, despite all good intention and advices from others, one life will be destroyed.

Each action will attract its consequences, now or in unimaginable future; each of us is responsibility for our life. When we put forth right effort, we ourselves will reap the harvest; when we lie, we are lying to ourselves.

Life has no beginning and no ending. Our actions cause it goes on round and round till the day we get enlightened or becoming worse and worse into evil realms. Actions propel consequences.   This is the undisputable  law of Nature.

Right understanding precedes right effort. Ego and stubbornness blinds oneself from the opportunity to learn and see things rightly. It is this ignorance that causes people to suffer life after life. Self-contemplate so that one’s can become crystal clear of one’s weaknesses and be humble enough to turn to good, as it is the only path to salvation.

May all be wise, well and happy always!

Thoughts arise on a sleepless night (rightly morning). Penned on 14 Dec 2015 5.20 am

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How to Excel in Life

《怎樣面對生命?》
I asked myself how to excel in life?
我問自己:「怎樣面對我的生命?」
My room gave me all the answers:
我的房間竟然給了所有的答案。
Roof said: Aim high.
屋頂說:「要目標夠高。」
Fan said: Be cool.
電扇說:「要保持冷靜。」
Clock said: Value time.
時鐘說:「要珍惜光陰。」
Calendar said: Be up to date.
日曆說:「要日新月異。」
Wallet said: Save now for the future.
錢包說:「要量入為出。」
Mirror said: Always observe yourself.
鏡子說:「要反觀自己。」
Lamps said: Light up other’s life.
桌燈說:「要照亮別人。」
Wall said: Share others’ load.
牆壁說:「要扛起重擔。」
Window said: Expand the vision.
窗戶說:「要拓寬視野。」
Floor said: Always be down to earth.
地板說:「要腳踏實地。」
Stairs said: Watch each step you take.
樓梯說:「要注意腳步。」
The most inspiring one:
而最鼓舞人心的則是:
Toilet bowl said: When it’s time to let go, just let it go….
馬桶說:「要放下、要捨得。」
And the toilet paper said: Expect shit everyday !
而衛生紙說:「狗屎屁事,照單全收,絕不迴避。」

( A better alignment. )
《怎樣面對生命?》
I asked myself how to handle life? 我問自己:「怎樣面對我的生命?」 My room gave me all the answers: 我的房間竟然給了所有的答案。
Roof said: Aim high. 屋頂說:「要目標夠高。」Fan said: Be cool. 電扇說:「要保持冷靜。」Clock said: Value time. 時鐘說:「要珍惜光陰。」Calendar said: Be up to date. 日曆說:「要日新月異。」Wallet said: Save now for the future. 錢包說:「要量入為出。」Mirror said: Always observe yourself. 鏡子說:「要反觀自己。」Lamps said: Light up other’s life. 桌燈說:「要照亮別人。」Wall said: Share others’ load. 牆壁說:「要扛起重擔。」Window said: Expand the vision. 窗戶說:「要拓寬視野。」Floor said: Always be down to earth. 地板說:「要腳踏實地。」Stairs said: Watch each step you take. 樓梯說:「要注意腳步。」
The most inspiring one: 而最鼓舞人心的則是:
Toilet bowl said: When it’s time to let go, just let it go…. 馬桶說:「要放下、要捨得。」And the toilet paper said: Expect shit everyday !  而衛生紙說:「狗屎屁事,照單全收,絕不迴避。」

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The Emotional Intelligence (Inner Child) in Us

We are born kind, through up-bringing and practices, we become vastly difference.

As an adult now, we all still have the inner child in us. The inner child in us is fundamental kind from birth and ready to be nurtured by the environments and the adults that surrounding us. As an adult now, through nurturing and growing, the inner child in us now is vastly different from one another. The Inner child is fundamentally the emotional aspect of our being, the emotional intelligence in us.

The question now is “Is the inner child in us a disciplinary and mature (emotional intelligent)  one or an undisciplined and immature (emotional suicidal) one?

The disciplinary ones will be able to love themselves and discipline themselves do what is wholesome for their life, self-aware of their emotions and manage them effectively while the undisciplined one will seek instant gratifications, show temperaments, throw tantrums, highly undisciplined.

Despite the adult in us want to build an ideal life for ourselves, it is the inner child in us that subtlety, without our conscious awareness, steer the way we feel, think, do what we do daily. Thus, we will end-up not achieving what we set to achieve in life until and unless we are able to align our feelings to right the inner child in us.

The good news is unlike intellectual intelligence which does not change significantly over a lifetime, our emotional intelligence can evolve and increase with our desire to learn and grow. For those who now possess an indiscipline child in them, the challenge now is if they are willing to take a serious effort to nurture the undisciplined inner child become highly discipline and matured.

Dr. Stanley Cham

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Emotional Intelligence – Automatic Negative Feelings and Theraphy

ANFS (Automatic Negative Feelings) are negative feelings that come into our mind automatically. If left unchecked, will ruin our life, ruin our day; steal our happiness, ruin our mind.

How to get rid of ANFS? – the ANFS Therapy

Whenever we feel sad, mad, nervous, or out of control, do ourselves a favor by writing them down – “What are our negative feelings, what is our thinking at that moments of time?” Examples, “I am mad because he or she is not listening to me.” Write our feelings and thoughts down, “I am very mad with him or her because or she never seems to listen to me.”

If we do not write them down and leave them uninvestigated, they can become very toxic. These will lead to negative thoughts. Left unexamined, we will give our reasons to support them; we start to believe in them. Once we believe in them, we will act as if they are the truth. This believe will eventually lead others to actually ignore us, be irritated by us, and start to behave as the way we claim it to be – not to listen to us. They can really ruin our day, ruin our life; they can ruin how we feel; worst still it may even ruin our very important relationships.

Therefore, it is important that whenever we feel sad, mad, and nervous or out of control, instead of condemning, complaining, criticizing and talking about them, write them down how we feel and what we are we thinking at that moments of time. Then ask ourselves if it is true. If not, we can discard them. If yes, then ask what we have done now or in the past that cause others to behave like that. We begin to take responsibility for the failure in the communication process instead of blaming others

We become more aware of the actual scenario and we can steer our feeling, thinking and action more effectively instead of allowing them to ruin us. When we do not challenge or question them, we will most likely act negatively towards our ANFS.

Dr. Stanley Cham

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VALUE OF Appreciation

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Team Building Activity SAKSOON travel June 2015

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Live and Let Live Versus Wanting People to Live Like Us

In human interaction, the first principle to follow is to speak respectfully to gain the respect of others in order for us to effectively communicating  with them. When we speak to people rudely, harshly, impatiently, we vibrant negative feelings and vibrations. Such negative vibrations  will affect the other person’s feelings and emotions. Such negative vibrations will then hit back on us. In such situation, there will be no “Effective Communication” except verbal noises.

Words like’Please’, ‘Thank You’, ‘I am sorry’ will help to bridge our communication; sarcastically nagging others, inaccurate assumptions, unwilling to understand others will either cause others to ignore what we said and remain silence or provoke verbal combating.

In communication, we can make our request but not demand; we can suggest but not insist; we can propose but not impose on others of what we want of them to do. The first hurdle in effective communication is to gain people’s respect and cooperation.

No one in this world lives just because of us. When we expect others to live our ways or our terms or our standards  of life, what we get is only frustrations.

A frustrated person can never be a happy person at least 80% of the day. Then who on earth would want to listen to and follow the command of such a frustrated person? Once we cannot get others to obey us, we become even more frustrated and thus can even live a full day of of misery life. This sort of life will repeat itself till the day we die or till the day we decide to let others their live their lives and ours our terms.

Just to be reminded that we ourselves do not belong to us, our spouse, our children do not belong to us; they belong to the natural phenomena of the nature. They come, they disintegrate. Claim not they are ours, cling not to them as ours. As a human being, in the process of living, we grow, we serve and we live a fulfilled and purposeful life that are within our grasp and control. Life is meant to be lived in a simple and purposeful manner.

May we invoke the divine forces to help those who live in misery to become aware that such misery is nothing but self-made, and may they develop the wisdom from within to see this simple truth about the reality of existence of life. May such individuals become wise, well, happy and live a fulfilled and purposeful life.

Dr. Stanley Cham

3rd Sept 2015

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