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If Others Have Done Me Wrong, Whether With Malice, Or Lack Of Tact, I Sincerely Forgive Them, And Let Go Of All My Grudge.
I Forgive Remembering How Often I Too Have Been At Fault.
I Forgive, Knowing That To Hold Ill Will Is To Cause Myself Greater Harm
Than Others Can Do To Me.
I Forgive Knowing That Desire For Revenge Only Brings The Heart Turmoil And Agitation.
If I Have Done Wrong To Others, Whether Through Malice Or Lack Of Tact, I Acknowledge My Transgressions And Ask To Be Forgiven.
I Ask To Be Forgiven Knowing How Little I Have To Complain About When Others Do Me Wrong.
I Ask To Be Forgiven Hoping My Bad Example Will Not Lead Others Into Wrong.
I Ask To Be Forgiven Feeling Truly Sorry And Promising To Make Amends.
I Ask To Be Forgiven Resolving To Practice Restrain In The Future.
“Forgive others, Not Because They Deserve Forgiveness But Because You Deserve Peace.” a whatsapp posting by a good friend of mine Vijayan Menon on 25/5/2017
An adult once asked a old wise man, “Oh, old wise man, is the bird in my hand alive or death?”
“Its life, alive or death, is in your hand, son. Let it goes, it is alive, squeeze it, it will be death. ”
Yes, one’s life is in our hands; knowing how to treasure it, despite whatever miseries, one life will be great; destruct it with vices, despite all good intention and advices from others, one life will be destroyed.
Each action will attract its consequences, now or in unimaginable future; each of us is responsibility for our life. When we put forth right effort, we ourselves will reap the harvest; when we lie, we are lying to ourselves.
Life has no beginning and no ending. Our actions cause it goes on round and round till the day we get enlightened or becoming worse and worse into evil realms. Actions propel consequences. This is the undisputable law of Nature.
Right understanding precedes right effort. Ego and stubbornness blinds oneself from the opportunity to learn and see things rightly. It is this ignorance that causes people to suffer life after life. Self-contemplate so that one’s can become crystal clear of one’s weaknesses and be humble enough to turn to good, as it is the only path to salvation.
May all be wise, well and happy always!
Thoughts arise on a sleepless night (rightly morning). Penned on 14 Dec 2015 5.20 am
I asked myself how to excel in life?
My room gave me all the answers:
Roof said: Aim high.
Fan said: Be cool.
Clock said: Value time.
Calendar said: Be up to date.
Wallet said: Save now for the future.
Mirror said: Always observe yourself.
Lamps said: Light up other’s life.
Wall said: Share others’ load.
Window said: Expand the vision.
Floor said: Always be down to earth.
Stairs said: Watch each step you take.
The most inspiring one:
Toilet bowl said: When it’s time to let go, just let it go….
And the toilet paper said: Expect shit everyday !
( A better alignment. )
I asked myself how to handle life? 我問自己：「怎樣面對我的生命？」 My room gave me all the answers: 我的房間竟然給了所有的答案。
Roof said: Aim high. 屋頂說：「要目標夠高。」Fan said: Be cool. 電扇說：「要保持冷靜。」Clock said: Value time. 時鐘說：「要珍惜光陰。」Calendar said: Be up to date. 日曆說：「要日新月異。」Wallet said: Save now for the future. 錢包說：「要量入為出。」Mirror said: Always observe yourself. 鏡子說：「要反觀自己。」Lamps said: Light up other’s life. 桌燈說：「要照亮別人。」Wall said: Share others’ load. 牆壁說：「要扛起重擔。」Window said: Expand the vision. 窗戶說：「要拓寬視野。」Floor said: Always be down to earth. 地板說：「要腳踏實地。」Stairs said: Watch each step you take. 樓梯說：「要注意腳步。」
The most inspiring one: 而最鼓舞人心的則是：
Toilet bowl said: When it’s time to let go, just let it go…. 馬桶說：「要放下、要捨得。」And the toilet paper said: Expect shit everyday ! 而衛生紙說：「狗屎屁事，照單全收，絕不迴避。」
We are born kind, through up-bringing and practices, we become vastly difference.
As an adult now, we all still have the inner child in us. The inner child in us is fundamental kind from birth and ready to be nurtured by the environments and the adults that surrounding us. As an adult now, through nurturing and growing, the inner child in us now is vastly different from one another. The Inner child is fundamentally the emotional aspect of our being, the emotional intelligence in us.
The question now is “Is the inner child in us a disciplinary and mature (emotional intelligent) one or an undisciplined and immature (emotional suicidal) one?
The disciplinary ones will be able to love themselves and discipline themselves do what is wholesome for their life, self-aware of their emotions and manage them effectively while the undisciplined one will seek instant gratifications, show temperaments, throw tantrums, highly undisciplined.
Despite the adult in us want to build an ideal life for ourselves, it is the inner child in us that subtlety, without our conscious awareness, steer the way we feel, think, do what we do daily. Thus, we will end-up not achieving what we set to achieve in life until and unless we are able to align our feelings to right the inner child in us.
The good news is unlike intellectual intelligence which does not change significantly over a lifetime, our emotional intelligence can evolve and increase with our desire to learn and grow. For those who now possess an indiscipline child in them, the challenge now is if they are willing to take a serious effort to nurture the undisciplined inner child become highly discipline and matured.
Dr. Stanley Cham
ANFS (Automatic Negative Feelings) are negative feelings that come into our mind automatically. If left unchecked, will ruin our life, ruin our day; steal our happiness, ruin our mind.
How to get rid of ANFS? – the ANFS Therapy
Whenever we feel sad, mad, nervous, or out of control, do ourselves a favor by writing them down – “What are our negative feelings, what is our thinking at that moments of time?” Examples, “I am mad because he or she is not listening to me.” Write our feelings and thoughts down, “I am very mad with him or her because or she never seems to listen to me.”
If we do not write them down and leave them uninvestigated, they can become very toxic. These will lead to negative thoughts. Left unexamined, we will give our reasons to support them; we start to believe in them. Once we believe in them, we will act as if they are the truth. This believe will eventually lead others to actually ignore us, be irritated by us, and start to behave as the way we claim it to be – not to listen to us. They can really ruin our day, ruin our life; they can ruin how we feel; worst still it may even ruin our very important relationships.
Therefore, it is important that whenever we feel sad, mad, and nervous or out of control, instead of condemning, complaining, criticizing and talking about them, write them down how we feel and what we are we thinking at that moments of time. Then ask ourselves if it is true. If not, we can discard them. If yes, then ask what we have done now or in the past that cause others to behave like that. We begin to take responsibility for the failure in the communication process instead of blaming others
We become more aware of the actual scenario and we can steer our feeling, thinking and action more effectively instead of allowing them to ruin us. When we do not challenge or question them, we will most likely act negatively towards our ANFS.
Dr. Stanley Cham
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In human interaction, the first principle to follow is to speak respectfully to gain the respect of others in order for us to effectively communicating with them. When we speak to people rudely, harshly, impatiently, we vibrant negative feelings and vibrations. Such negative vibrations will affect the other person’s feelings and emotions. Such negative vibrations will then hit back on us. In such situation, there will be no “Effective Communication” except verbal noises.
Words like’Please’, ‘Thank You’, ‘I am sorry’ will help to bridge our communication; sarcastically nagging others, inaccurate assumptions, unwilling to understand others will either cause others to ignore what we said and remain silence or provoke verbal combating.
In communication, we can make our request but not demand; we can suggest but not insist; we can propose but not impose on others of what we want of them to do. The first hurdle in effective communication is to gain people’s respect and cooperation.
No one in this world lives just because of us. When we expect others to live our ways or our terms or our standards of life, what we get is only frustrations.
A frustrated person can never be a happy person at least 80% of the day. Then who on earth would want to listen to and follow the command of such a frustrated person? Once we cannot get others to obey us, we become even more frustrated and thus can even live a full day of of misery life. This sort of life will repeat itself till the day we die or till the day we decide to let others their live their lives and ours our terms.
Just to be reminded that we ourselves do not belong to us, our spouse, our children do not belong to us; they belong to the natural phenomena of the nature. They come, they disintegrate. Claim not they are ours, cling not to them as ours. As a human being, in the process of living, we grow, we serve and we live a fulfilled and purposeful life that are within our grasp and control. Life is meant to be lived in a simple and purposeful manner.
May we invoke the divine forces to help those who live in misery to become aware that such misery is nothing but self-made, and may they develop the wisdom from within to see this simple truth about the reality of existence of life. May such individuals become wise, well, happy and live a fulfilled and purposeful life.
Dr. Stanley Cham
3rd Sept 2015